Thank you Jay- Z
24th March, 2012
I know some of you read this blog for motivation. While I’m not a huge fan of Jay-Z from his Blueprint days he did have an awesome song that didn’t get a lot of play but worth putting the lyrics up. Ladies, gents, keep your head up and always work hard.
Love,
The Crafty Winer
“Bitches & Sisters”
(Let’s describe a certain female)
(Let’s describe a certain female)
[Jay-Z]
(Bitch) you know my name and the company I own
(Bitch) you like my style and you smell my cologne
(Bitch) don’t try to act like my track-record ain’t known
(Bitch) you probably gotta couple CD’s in your home
(Bitch) don’t make me say it twice, you acting all up tight
Also diddy like, like, like
You ain’t a (Bitch), I ain’t no ball player, you ain’t gonna get pregnant again
Hit off with paper, you gonna get hit off and slid off
Before the neighbors take off to go to work
So just, take off your shirt, don’t hit me with that church shit
(Bitch) I got a sister who schooled me to shit you chickens do
Tricking fools, got a whole Robin Givens crew that I kick it to
They be hipping dudes, how you chickens move, I be listening to
(Bitch) (Bitch) (Bitch)
Don’t make me say it thrice, you acting all up tight
Also diddy like, like
You ain’t a (Bitch), You ain’t no better cuz you don’t be fucking rappers
You only fuck with actors, you still getting fucked backwards
(Bitch) Unless you fucked a dude on his own merit
And not the way he dribbles or ball or draw leverage
You’re a (Bitch), No ma, you’re a (Bitch)
(Let’s describe a certain female)
(Let’s describe a certain female)
(Let’s describe a certain female)
Say Jay-Z, why you gotta go and disrespect the women for? Uh
[Jay-Z]
(Bitch) Sisters get respect, bitches get what they deserve
SIsters work hard, bitches work your nerves
Sisters hold you down, bitches hold you up
Sisters help you progress, bitches will slow you up
Sisters cook up a meal, play their role with the kids
Bitches in street with their nose in your biz
Sisters tell the truth, bitches tell lies
Sisters drive cars, bitches wanna ride
Sisters give-up the ass, bitches give-up the ass
Sisters do it slow, bitches do it fast
Sisters do their dirt outside of where they live
Bitches have niggers all up in your crib
Sisters tell you quick “you better check your homie”
Bitches don’t give a fuck, they wanna check for your homie
Sisters love Jay cuz they know how ‘Hov is
I love my sisters, I don’t love no bitch
Manners and cat fights
18th March, 2012
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zKlph6MaVgY/ThWHCV32YWI/AAAAAAAAM-A/iXxPO_y76gQ/s1600/Cats_Fighting.jpg
Oh. Have you ever gotten yourself into a rustling-of-feathers event with someone? At the end of the day no harm no fowl or foul:). But have you ever experienced someone’s manners, after you’ve realized you two are just incompatible, and it’s just so laughable it’s sad? It’s just embarrassing to their mother…that’s the best she could produce…yeesh.
People can make (or mooch) as much money as they can but money doesn’t purchase you manners. Playa please.
I think it’s a wonderful celebration of yourself to be a flaming bitch (I tend to think I live it on a daily basis) but sweetie own it. The silent treatment thing is so passee and only works with husbands.
I am all for people being self-interested if they are producing (or attempting to be productive). But I’m still trying to wrap my head around people being self-interested with no means of productive output as an expression of themselves. Where is the expression of one’s mind when there is no productive output? Like, what’s the point then of existing?
Well, with that, I need to get back to work and be productive.
Haters will be haters
16th March, 2012
I love rap. Love it. It motivates the hell out of me (oh Nicki Minaj you really do do it for me). And once in a while the artist talks about haters. For the first time in my life I’m experiencing people hating on me for my hard work. Yeah, I’m a self-admitted workaholic. I love my business. It comes right behind my family on my priorities list. So hate me if you must. That simply means you don’t know me and/or you don’t support me.
My experience with haters is that they want some recognition without the hard work. If you’re out there and you’re dong you’re own thing working hard don’t let anyone take the wind out of your sails. Don’t let em make you feel bad. I think this is why I adore the writings of Ayn Rand so much. You know, work hard, be productive and keep the focus on you. Everything else will follow and if it doesn’t C’est la Vie!
Happy Friday Haters:)
Momma needs a pink snowblower
10th February, 2012
While I’ve never been a huge fan of “pink it and shrink it” (a common tactic used by companies to sell to women.. take running shoes that are pinked (or purpled) shrunk and sold off as ill fitting little versions of men’s running shoes) I really think there are some industries out there missing out on some good ol’ fashioned target marketing.
So I moved to Maine.
My darling hubby-do got a splitting ax thingy to split firewood. I almost threw my shoulder out trying to use it… off to Tractor Supply (I didn’t even know what this was until I moved here….) okey doke. Now I get the “boy” version of a splitting ax. Um excuse me. I don’t have a little pee pee… I would like something for me. Hmm maybe a handle with more flex (like my golf clubs–and a magenta handle…yeah now we’re talking)…instead, God bless my sweetie pie hubby….he puts a pink zip tie on my ax so I know it’s mine—all mine. Har har. It’s a boy tool. Now now, not that I’m a fashionista here but I have been known to wear Cole Haan’s while lugging wood (too much Bravo TV perhaps). But I need to raise a critical and overlooked point to Toro, Honda, Husky (good god, I’m naming snowblower companies off the top of my head without googling them…shit). Fellas, sweetie darlings, did you know that gals like me use snowblowers. What the hell where you all thinking making the handles so damn big?!? I can barely maneuver the damn thing because my hands can barely move fit around everything without using the other hand to “spot” me.
Ugh..epic fail darlings.
I’ve never been a huge fan of pink it and shrink it but this is an emergency. I do not care to have forearms the size of Eli Manning’s..gross. So something needs to be done here. A woman’s setting on your snowblowers perhaps? A slow speed that isn’t a slow jog for those of us with less than a 36″ gate? We can do better. And while we’re at it…guys make it a cute color too.. with streamers the way I like it.
Love,
Nicole
Remind me again
9th February, 2012
It’s a little after 2pm here and I am pooped. I’ve been working for 7 hours so far today and I have a solid 6 more hours of work to get through. My brain feels like mush right now. This is very odd for me. I’m exhausted and I’m trying to figure out why am I working so much and harder than I have in my whole life.
Oh yes, my husband. He’s the poster child for hard-work–so even my “long days” comparatively seem like a light day to him. It’s not that we’re in competition. But I couldn’t imagine sitting at home while his paycheck gets direct deposited into our account. So he’s my mentor in that department. I’m trying to stick to the old adage that the greatest wealth is to own your own life. (Yes, I’ve been re-visiting Atlas Shrugged) This whole process takes a herculean effort- not reading Rand (haha), owning your own life– yes, I think I piss off a couple of people on a daily basis because I am being, well me. But doing what’s exactly perfect for me is what I need to worry about right now. I am still baffled how people can have houses, careers and kids. I guess I’m not really looking for balance though. I’m happy that my work defines me, I’m just trying to figure out why today seems so much more impossible than normal. Anyone run into this?
No rest, no NASE
21st October, 2011
Shit! This moving into a house thing is just a ball buster. My move into this house was my 10th in 5 years. You think I would be an old friggen pro at this. No way! Chimney sweeps, plumbers, electricians and I just wrote a check to someone who just pumped out my septic tank. Does this formally mean I’m an adult?
And you know what to top it off, I had a gestapo-like asshole from the National Association for the Self Employed (NASE) call me yesterday…wait wait. “call” is much too nice of a term. He entered my phone number in, I answered and he proceeded to scream at me, no joke. Here’s the quick and dirty, I purchased insurance through NASE in the start of the summer, during this time I was given an agent by NASE. She was supposed to be my go-to gal. Well I needed to cancel the insurance a month later because, well, life happened. God bless her, she was on vacation so, I got charged another round of premiums. hmmmm…. shouldn’t I get a refund? Let me back up, she canceled some of my insurance but not all as a judgment call on her part. Really, I don’t need a broker/agent doing that without my consent I mean really it was like $130. Fucken write the check so I don’t have to waste a blog post and a youtube video over this. So, I’ve been moving into my house. This hasn’t been at the top of my priorities..something about actually running my business takes precedence. But I emailed her and the National Association for the Self Employed yesterday and this fucken prick of a guy who I don’t think has been laid in god know how long tells me that my agent is hospitalized. Well not to be a total prick but isn’t that what “out of office” notifications are for?! So, this $130 that they could have taken care of because they hire any money sucking person with no work-ethic will be reported to state of Maine for insurance fraud along with NASE and NASECARE. So terrible. Point of the story– don’t go through NASE, NASECARE &c. for insurance coverage. If you want to hear the full story, please email me! nicole@thecraftywiner.com I don’t care what they promise you. When you really need help, there is none and what does that do for you? It is totally shameful.
Now for something pretty powerful, just watch and thank my friend Dave:
Now that you’re settled
7th August, 2011
My sweet blog-o-rants, I’ve ignored you. I am finally moved into my new house. It took forever. I never got to the point of crying which is usually how I roll when we move. But now that we are all moved in and starting to get to a place of “normalcy”, it’s time for some updates.
I’ve moved to Maine and I’m learning a lot about “things”. I grew up in New Jersey so I never knew about things like moorings, studded tires (and no, they’re not for hot guys’ cars) and how to properly apply bug spray. (Yes, there is a method). So, over the next few posts, I’m going to school you on a
Jersey Girl’s Guide to Maine.
Lesson 1: Q: Can you swim in the lakes up here? A: Yes, you can. Now I have been told in order to maintain the sanctity of our lakes I should be telling all of you that the lakes in Maine are like the yester-year relatives to the Jersey Shore back in the early 90′s. That was during the time when hospitals etc were dumping waste in the ocean and needles were washing up on shore… I shit you not. But, really the lakes up north really are pristine and wonderful and hey, if you’re going to bring up my property value by bringing out-of-state dollars here then I’m going to tell you that our lakes rock. You can swim, fish and play and you don’t have to worry if you swallow a little lake water. Maine is a place that is very different from where I grew up. Especially on the lakes, it seems like time stopped back in the 1960′s and someone is filming a home video with a 8mm. It’s enchanting and worth the visit… did I mention the lobster?!
So, kiddies, plan your trips and the best thing–you don’t need to fly to get here. In fact, driving is probably the best way to see Maine. That means that TSA can’t stick their hands in your pants… at least for now until they move their ridiculous VIPR teams onto more of our roads. Well then, all bets are off. Hopefully by that point, you’ll like Bourdain, Zimmerman and the rest of the Travel Channel gang because that’s how we’re going to see the world (unless you like getting a blue glove in your pants– but that’s your business not mine).
Now let’s talk some recipes and some wine. I made a fantastic (and I mean fantastic) salad a few days ago that you MUST make: Fried Chicken Puntarelle Salad. http://www.marthastewart.com/353819/fried-chicken-puntarelle-salad So so yummy. It was really quite nice to make and would be great to bring along on a picnic or if it’s really hot out and you want to limit your kitchen time. The one thing I did slightly modify is that I cooked the chicken in a small bit of oil in my dutch oven. It allowed me to crisp the batter up without using all of the called-for oil.
What are some of your fav summer recipes?! Do tell my dears!
As for wine, I’ve been keeping it simple: cheap champagne mixed with a little Creme de Cassis, boxed white whine(er..wine) and expensive glasses.
Until next time,
The Crafty Winer
Did I just take advice from SITC?
21st June, 2011
I have been tweaking and planning a major change in my life for the past few months. While it didn’t go quite according to plan, in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “sometimes you need to just accessorize the cards you’re dealt”. Oh yes, I just went there. I just took life advice from SITC. And yes, I just abbreviated Sex in the City. Do I go straight to hell now?
So, here’s the dealio in my life; I’m moving to Maine…next week in fact. I’m terribly excited but the particulars didn’t quite work out the way I was planning. I was talking to my good friend L and she inspired me… I’m going accessorize. Accessorize my office, create a nest, fluff up the hay and settle into my first home. After moving 10 times in the last 5 years I’m exhausted. So while my exact plans didn’t work out (who, me a control freak?) I’m accessorizing, with poppy pillows;).
Well that’s my craft project heading into the rest of the summer. Oh a summer project, hell a project that can be planned out past next week is amazing in my world. This is the first time in my married life that I can make plans that extend out past 3 months. No, I flippen bein’ serious.
But I will tell you, I’ve been working on these adorable necklaces made from one skein of any of my yarns. I’m gonna release a formal pattern mid-July but if you want to follow along, start collecting your odd buttons, single earrings, broken jewelry… stay tuned my crafting dearies!
visit: http://resweb.llu.edu/rford/docs/vgd/gslvt/othersites.html for source
And yes, my bitch.. well it’s always about the TSA. I’ve realized how much me not wanting to get my crotch grabbed by a sweaty blue-gloved government agent is really screwing up my business. These friggen bastards. But my real beef, well, I’ll come out and say it–it’s Utah. When I moved here, I thought oh wow this place is going to rock, it’s going to be pretty. And yes, it’s pretty, sure but like I’ve told some of you, the disrespect for the environment and the toleration of raising families around these cesspools is frightening. Yeah, I grew up in NJ and yeah we have a couple of superfund sites but my friends and I always knew about them. And even though my views might go a little to the right, I’m a bit of a tree-hugger…well because I grew up in a house where I couldn’t drink the well water because corporations really fucked things up. We knew why the cancer clusters were there. When I talk to people around here about places like Mag Corp dumping crap into the Great Salt Lake I get a glazed look. I mean just read a little something: http://pesn.com/2005/05/12/6900093_MagnesiumCorporation_of_America/
My dears, this is right up the road from me. Should I get into the asbestos processing plant a few miles away, nuclear processing facility? For fuck sake people, I think it’s great having lots of kids, that’s cool for you but like how can there not be more community push back on places like this. I’m not trying to be an uber bitch here but I remember standing out being about five with my parents picketing Ciba Geigy. Nothing here except increasing population numbers. I’m confused. Help me understand.
So, my bitch and my happiness, one leads to another. I’m excited to move into a house that doesn’t have a 4pm air raid siren tests on Mondays to just keep that Cold War-ish reminder that I live 10 miles from 40% of the nation’s chemical warfare etc. not to mention a $62 million a year operating budget…and it still makes the EPA’s superfund sites. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooele_Army_Depot) AHHHHHHH. PEACE OUT UTAH!
The best birth control
1st June, 2011
It’s been a wild couple of days here in our house. Lots of changes underway which I’ll announce formally in a week or so. But let’s just say the fairy dust worked. Well let’s call this “the change” (and no I’m not going all menopausal on you). The change has again shown me that it is almost impossible to have a work-life balance and have children. If you’re one of the few that hasn’t had a reduction in their standard of living and you have a good balance between work and life I would really like to hear from you. But as I re-budget and re-asess my values the glaringly obvious is that if I had even just one kid I couldn’t “re” anything. I would just have to shut up and color. Hubby and I would be working for the man forever. We would just continue to work our tails off to feed a government that is too big for its own good, pay into social security that we’re not going to see (really) and did I hear talk of QE3?! Don’t believe me, read on here.
If you’re not keen on quantitative easing (QE) watch this video..hilarious and educational..because it’s animated of course.
Just wait until the US dollar isn’t used as the “world currency” in the future. For a middle class schmuck like me, I don’t have a great outlook on the future. Between having my potential child felt up by some asshole government agent and fellow Americans willing to give up their hard-earned liberties for some false sense of security along with this vice of non-stop work, sorry, Squeakers is going to be an only dependent. As a millennial my budgetary numbers and my love for liberty just aren’t adding up…the best birth control ever.
***
So, as for cooking and crafting, my sheer workload has precluded me from these things that I love to do. We’ve had pretty boring meals (last night was chicken) but I will say that the fish tacos I made in the fairy dust entry was the bomb and well worth the little extra time. But my house is a wreck and my to-do list is growing.
I would love to hear your thoughts about work-life balances though, I made the video above in 2008 so I guess the thought has been here for a while. I think we’re doomed to Karoshi, what do you think?
Ten things the TSA could do in America
27th May, 2011
http://www.hiddenhistoryhumanity.com
So, some of you might think I’m a little obsessive compulsive about this whole TSA thing. The fact is that they steal the rights that this country was founded on. Our fellow Americans have shed blood for it. I remember learning about WWII and I couldn’t understand how the Nazis got into power, fast forward to 27 May 2011, I look at the TSA and see exactly how. The following list is an excerpt from this article:
http://www.naturalnews.com/032538_TSA_false_authority.html#ixzz1Na62G7Sj
Ten things the TSA could do in America
1) Conduct house to house searches without warrants or justification of any kind (and arrest people who resist).
2) Shut down your state’s highways, railroads and airports at any time, for any reason, without explanation or justification.
3) Conduct body cavity searches at polling stations. This could literally mean TSA agents reaching into your anus to see if they can find any “hanging chads” in there.
4) Search parking lots for cars with Ron Paul stickers, then impound the vehicles under suspicion of terrorism.
5) Begin carrying firearms and using them to enforce its agenda. Right now, TSA goons don’t carry guns, but before long they could be sticking them in your face while planting cocaine in your carry-on luggage just to have you arrested and molested in the back room.
6) Demand to install TSA representatives in local Sheriff’s offices and police departments. These would function as TSA spies who report on the activities of local law enforcement and keep them in line. It’s a classic Nazi tactic, also used throughout the KGB.
7) Announce a TSA fee collection mandate from air travelers, then shut down any airport that refused to comply. This would basically be a for-profit racketeering operation. Pay up or lose your airport.
8 ) Demand veto power over ALL state legislation involving security, then boycott states that refuse to comply. Yes, the TSA could start having a say in local politics and could even demand the power to veto local legislation it didn’t like (such as the recent attempt in Texas to criminalize the TSA’s obscene pat-downs).
9) Set up official TSA naked inspection rooms at airports, where TSA officials take travelers into the back room and demand they disrobe as a “security measure.” The TSA would effectively operate as a gang of serial molesters.
10) Visit local malls and sporting arenas and demand they pay TSA “protection fees” if they wish to keep their events safe from terrorists. This is classic mob behavior — a “protection racket” that extracts money from businesses if they don’t want to be bombed or burned down. The TSA has already started running bomb exercises in airports just to see how police might react (http://www.naturalnews.com/032458_T…).
Don’t believe any of this can happen? Well go back in time a decade and ask yourself in 2001: Would you have believed that in 2011 the U.S. government would be reaching down your pants and feeling your genitals as a requirement for you to board an airplane?